Subliminal election day (vote!)...

Today is the day (vote!) when I go down to my son's school (vote!) and cast my ballot (vote!), which is something I've been looking forward to (vote!) for eight interminably (vote!) long (vote!) years (vote!) during which time I didn't know if we'd still have an election process in 2008 (vote!) or some sort of edict handed down by that disgustingly offensive biomass known as Karl Rove (vote!) to determine who would be in office (vote!). In any case (vote!), it does appear that we've managed to survive the Bush Doctrine (vote!), though many Iraqis, Afghanis and U.S. soldiers did not (vote!), and so later today (vote!), I will go in and indicate my preferred candidates (vote!) and while I wish that I could fuse Obama's statesmanship, demeanor and poise (vote!) with Nader's policies and politics (vote!), I am not feeling too bad about things either (vote!). So tomorrow morning I will be voting (vote!), then plant some last spring tulip bulbs to pacify my need for symbolic integrity (vote!), then I will be heading downtown to celebrate with friends (vote!) and hand out vegan mini-cupcakes with homemade Obama toppers on 'em (vote!) and leftover Halloween candy to my fellow revelers (vote!). It's going to be like New Year's Eve multiplied by a thousand in Chicago tonight (vote!) and, oh my... It's going to be huge.

So go out and vote (vote!) today if you haven't already (vote!) and remember, McCain (don't vote!) hates rainbows and puppies and dark chocolate and all things that are good in the world. Sarah Palin hates 'em even more and would riddle them with Uzi bullets if she could (don't vote!). Next time you hear from me (vote!), we'll have a new president-elect (vote!), one with a funny name (vote!) who will bring a new skin tone to the Oval Office (vote!). Finally, I can breathe again (vote!).

Shalom, everyone (and remember to vote!)...